When the late night comedy shows took to the air on Monday to lament Donald Trump’s return to the presidency, three main themes emerged. The first was that Trump is going to be a national nightmare. The second was that they have gone all in on embracing former President Joe Biden’s “oligarchy” warnings. Finally, it was deemed ironic that Inauguration Day happened to fall on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. To recap their collective wailing and gnashing of teeth, here is an NQ-style recap of CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, and Comedy Central’s The Daily Show.
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“Yes, taking the place of seats normally reserved for Democratic or Republican governors, sat Zuck, Bezos, Tim Cook, Elon, Tic-Tac guy, the Google guy… Populism, ladies and gentlemen! Shouldn't this gathering be happening in a volcano's lair near Zurich? Or are we just open source Illuminati now? Where's the conspiracy fun in that? Honestly, there is not a useful app of communication not controlled by at least one of these individuals. And you may not be concerned that they've all ponied up a million dollars to be sitting there and are kissing the ass of a president who openly threatens non-ass-kissers, but trust me, shit's going to get weird.”
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